Intermarriage

topic posted Fri, March 24, 2006 - 11:12 AM by  Rebecca
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Someone on www.jewishgateway.com said:

"There has been all this talk recently about the waning number of Jews due to intermarriage. While I understand that "love knows no boundaries," as a responsibility to your heritage, marrying within one's faith makes the most sense. These issues may not seem pertinent to life these days in a multicultural society, but when the older generations voice their concerns, you must see that you are the link to the future of an entire culture. "

Do you think that you should be married to someone for the sake of your culture?
posted by:
Rebecca
Philadelphia
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  • Re: Intermarriage

    Fri, March 24, 2006 - 3:29 PM
    I am very proud to be Jewish and love our culture. It is rich with community & personal values, spiritual thought, music, the little home we call the Land of Israel, and more. I am not looking to sever ties to all that by meeting someone outside of the faith. Who else will take responsibility for keeping Judaism alive in the future, if not our kids, and if we do not continue to build Jewish community as adults?
    • Re: Intermarriage

      Fri, March 24, 2006 - 3:36 PM
      That being said, I am not going to marry someone "just" because they are Jewish- there are so many other factors to consider. So I do leave the door slightly ajar to possibilities of meeting someone who may not be Jewish, as long as they would be willing to have a Jewish home. This worked for my cousin, a very secular Jew- he discussed raising Jewish kids with his non-Jewish wife, and she decided to take a class on Judaism to learn what that would mean. In the end she fell in love with Judaism too, and converted, thankfully before their daughter was born.
  • J
    J
    offline 24

    Re: Intermarriage

    Sun, July 30, 2006 - 10:21 PM
    I don't know...I think that intermarriage is a good attempt at self-survival. If everyone has Jewish ancestry, then there will be fewer people "in country" who want to kill Jews. The more intermarriage, the less possibliity of isolation and destruction as an ethnic group. Now, if you're talking about people who talk about Judism as a religion being lessened, I fear that most of their talk is anti-women--usually directed at women and the need to marry Jewish men. Their speak usually isn't directed toward Jewish men. The same thing happens in the African-American community, where you have black men marrying caucasian women but a lot of pressure on black women to marry only "in community." If you marry, it is your responsibility to pass down your traditions, regardless of who you marry. Hum....could the real problem be Jewish men marrying only blonds and anglos (parting swipe)? Hahahaha...
    • Re: Intermarriage

      Tue, October 3, 2006 - 6:51 AM
      I think its more important that the men marry jewish women than the women marry jewish men. No matter who the woman joins with, the child is still considered Jewish. Its up to the men to convince their non-Jewish partners to convert if we wish to not dilute or shrink the tribe via assimilation.

      That said, I am open to dating non-Jewish women. I do believe it will make my life way easier if I stick to the Jewesses, but it also is limiting my dating options at the same time.

      I think of it like this, if God wants me to marry a Jew, He'll provide the right woman for me to find.
      • Re: Intermarriage

        Tue, October 3, 2006 - 10:05 AM
        Ken, to play devil's advocate-

        "If you don't date a goy, you won't marry one!"

        -my friend's mom
        • Re: Intermarriage

          Tue, October 3, 2006 - 12:39 PM
          Celestial, I agree w/your friends mom (and I've heard that before too), its just that if I dont date a goy, I might never get any dates at all.

          Ok, I cant say "never", but still, I've met some nice Jewish women when I was dating their non-Jewish friends.

          Also, my current taste in women tends to be towards those with certain features that arent very common among the jewesses.


          Lets just hope that whomever I pair up with will be open to converting if it came down to it.
          • Re: Intermarriage

            Tue, October 3, 2006 - 8:25 PM
            >its just that if I dont date a goy, I might never get any dates at all.
            I know how you feel, I lived in a small town for a long time and stuck it out.

            >Also, my current taste in women tends to be towards those with certain features that arent very common among the jewesses.

            That is a phenomena among Jewish men which makes me sad. It's a societal phenomena I think.
            • Re: Intermarriage

              Wed, October 4, 2006 - 9:20 AM
              I've struggled with this for a very long time.
              At one point, i see beauty in all cultures...particularly when they are in the form of woman.
              Yet, we have to look at the intangibles.
              I cannot imagine the anger I'd feel hearing my children pray to another god. I would loose it!! The relationship would be doomed for me.
              My family has survived too long to dissappear because of intermarriage.
              Yes, there is a chance my children, though being born from a non jew, may discover the beauty of their fathers ancestry...but in a Christian country (for all us americans) that chance is quite slim. Remember, even OUR children will want to belong, to fit in.

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